Mom you didn’t give me time!!

I heard my mom telling all the time, “Son when you get a job after completing your studies, then I’ll buy necklace or this saree for myself, we’ll go to the pubs, have a drink, car rides, food of our choice, life of our choice”. We kept hearing this all our childhood and many if you know that feeling.

Do you know where I’m now?? My mom can’t walk for half an hour perfectly, can’t stay outside of house more than an hour, can’t crack jokes like she used to. Reason? she always thought of future and the life that was ahead & forgot the very life she had to live.

All life she sacrificed her happiness and joys for the study, attitude, character and now career building of mine. In this journey she forgot that she had a life too. Diagnosed with breast cancer on the final semester of she was hospitalized for treatments. Chemotherapies, herceptin, radiation and side-effects compensating treatments. Now tell me where the happiness she planned to have with me? where is the life she always dreamt?

After all this I got to a point where nothing was getting into my mind except this –

  • Life won’t show you mercy at all, whether you are good or bad. All it will do is to end you.
  • People say, what can we do it’s LIFE! Everyone is chasing money to live a better life. It’s the mind-set we created over centuries, we have put our lives in control of a tiny paper (money). We have to run for it, do things for it, kill someone for it.
  • It’s the fact!, we can’t change anything! We’ve to follow the life the way it is. Yeah! you are right, but till what point? – There are hundreds of sons banished from homes and tortured for not getting good marks, not having good jobs compared with their colleague’s sons and daughters. This is just an example, you know better ones than me.

The whole point I want to make here is – My mother had that charm, energy, power and strength to live & enjoy a very happy life but she didn’t choose it, I’m pissed off with the sacrifice she did. No son would want his mother to sacrifice anything for him, no son wants that. Mom you are making me feel guilty now, it’s in my head that I couldn’t fulfill the dreams you thought of .

I hate you for not taking care of yourself, I hate you for sacrificing! I never ever wanted you to do this! I wanted you to be happy. Mom I’m your son! whether you treat me good or bad I would still love you, you don’t have sacrifice anything to prove your love. Instead these sacrifices would make me guilty till I die if I couldn’t fulfill them.


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