Chapter 12: Interior and Exterior Landscaping

“Everything in this world has its own essence; we just have to look for it and feel it”

The flashback ended but the movie of her life was still rolling. She couldn’t sleep after that. She started watching a movie and finally slept at 4 in the morning. Next day was a Sunday so she got lucky. Days from then on got harder as she couldn’t accept that fact that she had something for Amar. She planned to stay away from him but that too was highly impossible because he wouldn’t stop texting or calling her. She gave herself a thought that she couldn’t lose a friend just because of her confusion and stupid emotions. She started to do bizarre stuff. She tried to distract her mind from him by thinking about other guys who were sweet. There were four such guys, two were from her school; one was her childhood friend Akash; the one who she thought to be her illusionary crush but wasn’t and the other was a good friend of hers from childhood. The other two were her classmates from college. At one point she even tried to feel romantically towards Anand. Could they replace Amar for her? Maybe, maybe not. Whenever she imagined any of these to be her love interest; spoke to them sweetly and tried to act cute with them, however when she did it she saw a glimpse of Amar in them and smiled thinking how he would react to her behaviour and words if he was there. Immediately after that, she used to get back to reality and recognize who she was actually talking to or was with. The realization made her lose all her charm and her smile in the face and she ended up feeling low and lone. The more she tried to slither away from the fact that she had romantic feelings for Amar, the stronger the feeling got. The more she avoided his thoughts; the roots of his memory grew. The more she tried to stay away from him the more desperate she got and when they met she couldn’t be happy anymore. She always went through the pain and dilemma, every time Amar asked her to meet and she had to go, “I don’t wanna meet him but I want to spend time with him. If I meet him I wouldn’t be able to get over this shitty feeling. Moreover, after the time spent together gets over, I will feel more miserable thinking about him the entire week. Why the hell I should meet him? He has fun and I have pain. Arrrrgh. I hate him so much. I wish I could kill him right away. How I wish corroding someone’s mental peace was a crime and that it would be legal for the victim to kill the mugger.” As time passed by and they kept meeting, every time they did, it was like a stair to the next level of time it took for her to get over her anguish; the level went from weeks to a month. Amar’s thought took her through a roller coaster ride which was both beautiful and wild. Arita avoided meeting Amar alone and looked up to it that they always met when other people too were there so that she didn’t have complete lone time and memory with him. It was the month of January when she invited Hema, Amar, and Anand for a night out at her place.

Hema couldn’t make it to the plan as she had to go outstation with her family and Anand gave hand at the last moment. What happened was a proof that how sly fate can get and backstab us when we are the most vulnerable. Arita had that thought. She was very happy that she would be spending the whole night with Amar but inside she was gloomy thinking what would happen next when the night is gone. She had this weird feeling of both joy and sorrow which were in the ratio 1:4. She wanted to live the moments to the fullest but was anxious about the aftermath when Amar would leave. Keeping everything aside she came to a resolution, “Whatever happens in future will happen and I can’t do anything about it but whatever happens now, will be the way I want it to be. And all I want is to make beautiful moments with that one amazing person I have ever met who opened a beautiful world that I always was afraid to think about. Moreover, he is my friend and I am his host. It’s my responsibility to make this visit of his, memorable like he does.” After all the mess got settled they had a fun time together. They went to sleep at morning 6. At around 8 his alarm went on several times and Arita’s mom thought someone was calling him. It was loud but he was in deep sleep. Arita was in the other room but her sleep was disturbed by the alarm as it was already morning and on top of that, that alarm noise and so she had to get up and off it. It happened not just once or twice, she had to get up about five times and she got very annoyed as she wanted to sleep for a little longer but she couldn’t because of the noise. The last time she went she opened the clock and switched off all the alarms and looked at him with rage with an impulse to strangle him but all she could do was to smile looking at his innocent cute face while he was asleep. She had this urge to kiss his forehead and was going closer when she realized what she was doing and withdrew her face and walked out of the room.

Though she was freaking sleepy she had to go for grocery shopping with her mom as she couldn’t tell her how late they slept, she would get rebuked. So she decided to somehow manage the day till noon after which she would get to sleep. When she came back, he was up and brushing. Her sister told her that the first thing Amar asked after getting up was for her. She felt prompted to kiss him Good morning right away but it wasn’t in her command to do it. She made tea for him, they had their morning tea and he liked it. Then he left.

 Article byCharitha Chouhanh


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Chapter 6: The Insulation

Chapter 5: Framing

Chapter 4: Deep Foundation

Chapter 3: Mismatch | Love Storey

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