“Realizations are like Thunder, doesn’t strike all the time but when it does, does it hard”
The trip completed with lots of adventures and risks. She returned home safe and sound just like how Amar and others wanted her to. She was very happy and satisfied with her decision. She had got her friends and sister gifts. For Amar, she had got two lockets not knowing which he would like. On returning she visited him and gave him his gifts. It was this period when Amar started calling her and they used to talk for long hours, unusual for Arita as she hated talking for long over calls, but with him, she lost the track of time. The calls were occasional, not regular. The era of calling started. Time passed by quickly and it was again the time to go back to the boring classes and college. Everything was the same as it used to be yet nothing was as usual as it used to be. She was in college but didn’t like being there because she could feel a vanity in the surroundings. There was something that was missing. She got involved with her new class, professors, subjects yet she was not happy like she used to be at the beginning of her new semesters. She couldn’t understand what it was that she missed so badly. She had reduced texting Amar too, to a large extent. Every night she used to go to sleep listening to the song ‘Wish you were here’ by Avril as that was a song on her current ‘top’ playlist. She didn’t know why but loved listening to it and then cried when she did. She thought probably the crying made her feel tired and helped fall asleep. One day finally she, her school friend Hema and Amar planned for a trekking and camping. The plan was on a Saturday but due to the weather it had to get cancelled so Arita decided to plan a hangout as she was upset; that way at least they’ll be having some fun time but Amar said that he didn’t want to come and that he had planned a lunch with his friends already. She got enraged hearing that. She got bizarre thoughts; “Okay, so he never wanted to come with us and that’s why he already planned with his friends to celebrate the joy of our plan getting cancelled. He could have told earlier then, that he didn’t want to go with us. Why did he have to pretend to be excited about it?” She stopped talking to him and didn’t pick his call-up when he called, as he realized she was angry. After a few days when her anger calmed down and she grasped that she had been rude. She did it to both Hema and Amar. So she tried to rectify her mistake. Hema had apologized already but Arita was a person whose anger was like a volcanic eruption, nothing could be used to stop it, the only thing that could be done was to stay away until cooled down which happen with the passage of time. She apologized to Hema for her behavior, and then called Amar to apologize. He asked if she was angry and this reminded her of what had happened, then started the phase two of her irate session and she said, “Why should I be?” He asked, “Then what happened. Why do you sound so low?” She ignored the question and said, “Nothing you should be bothered about. Why did you call?” He told that he was sorry and then the conversation went to random matters.
The lava of anger was boiling inside her and finally erupted before ending their conversation. She told him why she was angry and yelled a bit on him. He understood and said that he was sorry and that he didn’t mean to hurt her. The matter was sorted and the conversation came to an end. They had a short conversation compared to the previous ones they had. That’s how her anger cooled after two weeks and that night she slept peacefully. The texts’ frequency got normal. Amar started inviting her for occasions like gigs and open-mics. She loved going with him, whether in a group or alone. Most of them were alone, they were like little dates. They started hanging out quite often along with night outs at his place. They spent nights watching horror movies, sometimes comedy movies, listening to his songs or good songs, discussing philosophical stuff, inner fears and what not, that they did together. A year passed by, they had little dates, long texts, and even longer talks over the call. Every time they did, it felt new and exciting. As time passed by Arita got drawn towards him and got closer to him by an inch. Every time when Amar didn’t text her for a long period of time, he used to call. That period when he didn’t text she used to check for his last seen in WhatsApp, get annoyed and blabber to herself, “Why would he care for me anyway? It wouldn’t be a surprise if someday he asks me, ‘who are you?’. Probably he’s too busy. There must be a reason. Oh, I forgot I’m not Divya why would he even bother about me. If it was her then would have been bothered.” Her mind and heart always got into such conflicts. One night she was enjoying herself listening to songs to get over that constant conflict, Amar called her. As usual, she delayed to pick it up while actually thought of not picking it up. They spoke until a point when the discussion about Divya began. They both got upset, Amar because of Divya and Arita because of Amar. Somehow she managed to suppress her pain and tried to comfort him. Later the conversation took its way to random, fun talks. After cutting the call she couldn’t help but cry. She heard Bhajans in order to get rid of the emotions and closed her eyes. She got the image of Krishna, her best friend who she could trust blindly. For the world, he was some Supreme lord but for her, he was her life. She questioned him “Why does every time I feel happy talking to him and then drown in sorrow when he speaks about Divya. Every time it happens, the intensity grows deeper than the previous one. I can’t take it anymore. I want to get rid of it. Give me a solution. Please.” She wiped up her tears and kept all her mind and emotions towards Krishna. The image of her Krishna changed to Amar’s silhouette and in seconds his clear image appeared. She opened her eyes and bleated in horror “Fuck! I think I’m in love! Am I?”.
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